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Hello 12 Step Bloggers

1 October 2012 in Old Timers Tips

Consequences: No Regrets

The regrets and “if only’s” were killing me and leading me back to more mood altering substances, alcohol and drugs. It was always the same scenario, I didn’t want to accept the consequences of my actions so I would deny them. It took several years but I finally learned to trust my relationship with my Higher Power and the intuitiveness that was growing within me. I knew what was the right thing to do, and I needed to do it. Years of denial and dishonesty were being replaced with living in the now.

 

After The Old Ideas, What?

The last one is: Is the Price Right? This one you don’t play very often but, boy oh boy, when the time comes, you really have to play it. Everything in life has a price tag. Success has a price tag. Failure has a price tag. If you’re going to stay sober, that has a price tag. If you’re going to go down on skid row and drink for the rest of your life that has a price tag. Virtue has a price tag. Sin has a price tag. Everything has a little price tag on it and you have to pay it … you have to pay it. Somewhere along the line, in your life, in situations that really matter to you, you have to sit down and say, “Can I afford to pay the price for that? Do I want it? Do I want what it offers bad enough to pay the price tag that’s on it?” And then you’re able to make a choice.

For instance, let’s go back to the situation that bugged me for so many years. I don’t know how many times in the nine years that this situation with my boss existed, that I seriously considered leaving the agency, resigning and going and finding another job. There were advantages in both alternatives. If I got out of this situation, there was the advantage of being out of it. The drawback was that I had a great equity in this agency; I had been with them for years. I was a stockholder. I had profit sharing and I had a severance agreement with them. I was a vice-president so I had recognition with this company and no matter where you go in the agency business, no matter what kind of title you have hanging on you, or what kind of proof you take with you, you have to prove yourself.

I had to sit down and make a choice. I had to pay a price and this is where you weigh. You weigh what you want, knowing that there is a price tag on it and that you are going to have to be willing to pay it. Believe me, I think that the best definition of emotional maturity is the ability to choose what you want to do … to make a choice as to what course of action you wish to follow … and then accept the consequences that go with the choice. The two can’t be separated. You can’t make the choice and then refuse to pay the price tag. That’s emotional immaturity. The two have to go together. That’s the name of the game. To have the ability to live your life by saying “I choose this course of action. I have weighed it. I know what the price tag is and now I am willing to pay whatever the tariff asks.” And once you’ve done that, then keep your mouth shut. You just make a bargain with yourself and you keep your mouth shut. You don’t go through life every time you can get anybody in a corner and start crying about trying to have your cake and eat it too.

When that phrase comes into your mind, I’ll tell you four words to put in its place. When you find yourself, on some day, thinking … If only, if only, if only…try putting these four words in their place … There is always now. There is always now. That’s what there always was, and that is what there will always be. Always, always, always in those years that are past, there was always now. And when you are one minute away from your last breath, there will always be now.

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